Life Through Writing
The essay, of which bell hooks wrote, “writing autobiography”, wasn’t exactly what the title leads you to believe. It was about the internal conflict she was going through with writing her own autobiography. She tells us that her initial thought on writing it was to be finally rid of her past and despised childhood. She wanted to figuratively kill herself as a child. hooks goes on about how she feels that her inability to complete this seemingly simple task was connected to her not truly ready to let go. She also considers that her writing block is connected to the scolding and trouble she would get into when she shared intimacies about her family to others. This secrecy of her family seems embedded in her mind to the point where she is unable to write it out for the world to read. She tries to write an imaginary version of how her childhood went, but hooks wanted to write it so no one would know it was about herself. As the years went by on her attempts to recreate her life on paper, she began to feel as though the memories of her life were escaping her. After some time elapsed, she met a young black man. This man turned out to be the key in her being able to finally write her autobiography. She gives two examples of situations with this man in which she regains specific memories for her childhood.
One in particular, she and this man were dancing in his house. He was a smoker, and the scent of cigarette mixed with the alcohol they were drinking and the sweat from dancing triggered her memories of her Uncle Pete. Not realizing it, she said his name, Uncle Pete, aloud. hooks remembered her Uncle Pete and the way he used to hug her. With each embrace brought the scent of cigarettes and alcohol and extended bodily contact. She hated it. Through these remembrances, Hooks comes to the realization that it’s not that she really wanted to get rid of her past but to feel release and reunion with her life. She states that “the act of writing one’s autobiography is a way to find again that aspect of self and experience that may no longer be an actual part of one’s life but is a living memory shaping and informing the present.” For her, it was a way to bring back to life the experience of southern black living, which she says isn’t nearly as common as it used to be. When all is said and done, she finds that she had not killed her past self but rather rescued her.
As I was reading through a variety of rhetorical terms, the word ethos came across. Ethos is the persuasive appeal based on the expressed character of the speaker. I find the relation of this to Bell Hooks essay is her style of writing and her writing in general. I wouldn’t have thought that I would actually enjoy the content of the essay, but her way of writing and arrangement of the information. Her word choice was incredibly appealing and persuasive. The way in which she introduces her initial view on how she felt toward her childhood and what she thought was the reason she couldn’t write her autobiography made you feel almost the exact same if not very similarly. Then after your views are conceived she persuades you all over again into adopting her new views of her childhood and writing her autobiography. This is what I loved so much about this essay. It kept me interested and engaged, but, above all, she kept me agreeing. I, as a reader, was truly sympathizing and having the same feelings as she was with both sides. The use of ethos was defiantly used well and effectively.
After reading the essay, the first thing that came to mind was how sorry I felt for her and the position she was in as a child. The events she went through make it very easy to see why she had such a hard time with composing her autobiography. After hearing all this, I had the same feelings towards writing about her life. Hooks went through a tough life and, if it were me, I would have had a hard time confronting those memories. I would have been scared in a sense to relive a past like that. I personally have trouble dealing with bad, emotional situations that ended with me feeling hurt. I have trouble thinking about them. When I read her essay, I had an idea of how she must have felt. Though, at the same time, I feel that confronting those tough times is completely necessary, and as the essay continued she came to the same realization. She found it to be a sense of comfort to write about her life even. Ultimately this essay shows that writing is never a thing to fear. Writing much like art is a form of expression of one’s self. It is a release, a sense of self-awareness, and an act of communication. Writing is not an obstacle to overcome but rather a tool or aid to convey and formulate thoughts and ideas as an extension of one’s self.
by steven hilton