No matter where we have been, everyone has a story. That story is our autobiography, which in return molds and contributes to who we are. Everyone has a past, some better than others, but how they cope with it reflects who they are. Some writers find it easy to summarize their lives and experiences into words. But on the other hand, some find it difficult to form their autobiographies. bell hooks shares her struggle with us and I find it very helpful to see that I am not the only one who battles with the past, but also makes me realize that the experience is different for everyone.
bell hooks shares her personal struggle with us in her essay “writing autobiography.” She explains that it was not a simple task but a process that took years. hooks goes on to speak of her childhood as, “the girl who was always wrong, always punished, always subjected to some humiliation or other, always crying” (hooks 30). She has trouble releasing the wounds and sorrows that are attached to her from when she was younger. When she was a child, it was important to keep certain information secret, which is a struggle she has to overcome in composing her autobiography. In writing, she wants to solely be a writer and not one releasing secrets. As time passed, hook felt the urgency to write her autobiography because her memories were becoming faint. She shares a couple experiences about relationships with us throughout her essay. These relationships brought back memories of unpleasant events in the past and allow her to draw conclusions. hooks digs through stories and begins to realize that memories are unconscious and not about what happens but what we remember and invent. hooks was longing to reunite with her story and release the past, but had trouble since she had repressed it. Her grandmother indirectly taught her that in order to keep her autobiography alive, she must tell her story. hooks later finds clarity and importance in that fact that her autobiography be in writing. Her mother had a hope chest that held her most precious items, and from this hooks decided her autobiographical narrative was her hope chest in which she could place her memories. When her autobiography was complete it gave her closure with the past, allowing her to grow, change, and reclaim herself, Gloria.
In reading bell hooks essay, the audience is strung in by the way she arouses our emotions. If one relates with her, they see that she easily puts into words the feelings they acquire as they wrestle through the past. She goes through a process of strength that is needed to recover her childhood, bringing sympathy to her readers. hooks also uses examples of her past that help the reader to pry into their own memories and find what helped to develop their autobiography. Even though she is focusing on her personal story, she touches her audience and brings a sense of pity for us. The reader is relieved to have someone that can give them advice but also have the experience. Overall, hooks connects with the reader and empathizes with the amount of effort it takes to summarize your life.
Through this piece, I feel like bell hooks initial reason for sitting down to write was to put her autobiography into words, but instead described the process she undergoes. I believe that this essay allowed for her to release part of the past in an indirect and incidental manner. In her writing, hooks shares spigots of memories from her past relationships. From these relationships, we can get to the underlying truth that explains the feelings and reasons for repressing her childhood. hooks reflection into her childhood and relationships give her closure on the past, and ability to cope with them. She realizes that previous occurrences are over, contributing to the person she is. While she tries to explain how difficult putting one’s story into words is, she was enabled to unleash her true self.
hooks’ writing makes me reflect on how the past tremendously influences and configures my life. When I read her essay, and see what she has suppressed, it brings a memory that I have tried to forget about that continues to haunt me. I can say that I regret who I was in the past, but from reading her work she shows me that it is a learning experience. From this passage, hooks also encourages me to let go of the past and allow it to mold who I am. When I read hooks essay “writing autobiography,” I compare myself to her, and feel the pain she experiences in tackling her past. I can relate to her and agree that putting our story into words is a challenge, but through it can put closure on parts of our lives that are hidden and secret. “I did not want to be the traitor, the teller of family secrets—and yet I wanted to be a writer” (31). Another point that I agree is hard to overcome, is keeping secrets and not breaking the oath of secrecy. I know her pain of holding in that secret that has brought grief and unsettledness to my life. I wish I could tell someone, anyone, scream it at the top of my lungs, and everything be ok. Even though hooks appears to feel alone in her battle of recovering her story, I can relate and believe many other people could too.
Although I could relate to hooks, there are some things that are different for me. She made it apparent that it helped her to write it and took her many years to let go, but I feel as if I will always be attached to these wounds. Maybe time will allow this memory to fade and I will be able to release it, but putting it in words allows me to relive it continuously. hooks struggles with bringing the memories to the present because for so long they have been pushed away and not talked about. But I continue to fight back that incident in my life; it has a hold on me that brings it to mind quite often. hook was able to release her secrets and hurt onto paper, but I will never be able to do that. Maybe one day I can tell someone, but writing gives that hold on the memory that it will never leave. Overall, her story assists me on where to begin on my autobiography, and places emphasis on forgetting the past.
bell hooks indirectly shares her story in her essay. Through her effort of explaining how she constructed her own autobiography, one acquires and begins to understand her story. Not only is her story expressed, but she creates an understanding relationship with the reader. I personally connected with hooks in some ways and felt as if she was speaking to me, and in other ways she is in a different stage of coping than I. No matter one’s age, gender, race, background, we all have a story to be shared, and hooks brings light to that in “writing autobiography.”
Sarah Johnston
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