Kara Gandy
Mrs. Trahan
15ENG041
Essay #1 – Reading, Composing, Responding
October 8, 2009
Hey, You’ve Got Gum on Your Shoe
Ill-fated circumstances happen to everyone. For some, it is easy to simply learn from those situations, forget it all happened and move on with life. For others, the memories stick to them like gum on the bottom of their shoe. I know how it feels to be afraid to let go of the past. I am one of those people who tend to remember all the bad things that have happened over the course of life, and because of it, living in the present can be a challenge.
It is comforting to know that there are other people who are the same as me when it comes to holding onto the past. In “writing autobiography”, author bell hooks tells her story about how she learned how to let go of her childhood memories through writing. Before attempting to sit down and write her autobiography, she explains her “longing to kill the self I was without really having to die” (hooks 30). She describes her desire to rid herself of the past because of its strong hold on her, yet feeling as though she is not ready to do so because she feels that she is psychologically attached to it. As she revisits old memories in the process of writing her autobiography, she realizes that by being able to tell her story through writing, she is being forced to reunite with those memories, while at the same time feeling a sense of liberation. Although hooks does not provide examples of true rough patches from her childhood, the way she enlightens the reader about how she overcame her fear of letting go is inspiring.
Reading bell hooks’ essay really made me understand myself and why I, too, have had apprehension about revealing my past in my writing. I agree with the idea of fear taking over due to the issue of family secrecy. Since family is what is most important to me, betraying that principle by exposing what went on in our household has always been out of the question. I can also relate to her point about the attachment to her childhood memories preventing her attempt to be “self-realized whole, to be healed” (hooks 30). Even though letting go of the bad experiences of my life would be a relief, sometimes I feel that if I become detached from those experiences, I would lose a part of me. A part of what has shaped who I am today.
By hooks speaking from experience, the essay was able to feel relatable and believable. However, by not explaining what exactly from her childhood made her afraid to speak out, it was hard to understand why she was so frightened in the first place. I know that for me, there are specific incidents that happened that made me afraid to reveal those parts of my life. The author reveals her inner enemy “Gloria Jean”, but without specific events, I feel as if I’m not getting the entire story, almost like a giant piece of the puzzle is missing.
There is one other point that I was waiting to come across as I read this essay, but never did. I believe that people also fear letting go of traumatic memories because they feel that if they let it go, they will forget, and the same thing might happen again. I know that that is one of the main reasons why I hold on to my own memories, as painful as they may be, so I will not forget, and so I will know how to handle another situation similar to it in the future.
As bell hooks comes closer to concluding her autobiography, she starts to find out that putting her memories down on paper is easier than she thought, and she is able to see them in a different way. The memories did not seem so haunting anymore, but more like pieces of her life that are slowly forming her heart.
Besides the lack of specifics, I am very impressed with the way bell hooks wrote this essay. It is not often that I come across a piece of writing that is so easy to relate to, and I think it is because, this time, the author wrote it from personal experience. I especially loved her reaction to completing her autobiography: “Writing the autobiographical narrative enabled me to look at my past from a different perspective and to use this knowledge as a means of self-growth an change in a practical way” (hooks 35).
Works Cited
hooks, bell. “writing autobiography.” Essays on Writing. Eds. Lizbeth A. Bryant and Heather M. Clark. New York: Longman, 2009. 29-35. Print.
By Kara Gandy
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